This is a rush transcript of Episode #497 of the Richard Mullen Show. Today’s guest was Gregor Philpotter, author of My 21 Years Living in a Cave.
RICHARD: Can a man know himself well enough to spend 21 years living alone? Is human contact over-rated? Is Masturbation really enough? My guest today can answer those questions and much more. Please welcome Gregor Philpotter to the Richard Mullen Show.
GREGOR: Thank you, Mr. Mullen.
RICHARD: Tell me, do you still live alone?
GREGOR: Actually, no, I no longer live alone, I found the perfect person to spend the rest of my life with and am very happy.
RICHARD: Great! How long have you been out of the cave?
GREGOR: Well, Sharon and I moved in together nearly two years ago, and were just married three months ago.
RICHARD: Congratulations! That is wonderful! I’m perplexed, however, how were you able to meet her?
GREGOR: Well, I’m happy to say that we met using an online dating service.
RICHARD: I am profoundly surprised, but also impressed. I didn’t realize how advanced your cave was.
GREGOR: I lived like anyone else did, I had the internet and television.
RICHARD: That must have been expense to set up.
GREGOR: Not really, it was the standard cost, noting special
RICHARD: Wow, you must have gotten long term deals. Anyway, tell me about the dampness. How did you deal with that?
GREGOR: In the summers it could get a little humid, but I wouldn’t feel a thing, I used my central air all the time.
RICHARD: A/C? Seriously? I’m thinking the electrical set up must have been a nightmare alone, but duct-work too?
GREGOR: Yeah, it was all pretty standard.
RICHARD: Haha..for a cave. That’s a good one. Seriously, are you secretly wealthy? Or was this really more of an old bomb shelter you grandfather built in the early 1960’s?
GREGOR: It was actually a rehabbed 19th Century structure.
RICHARD: How did you manage to never leave?
GREGOR: Well my “cave” as it were, left me no choice. I had locked myself in.
RICHARD: How did you eat? Did you have stockpiles of food?
RICHARD: Did you have stockpiles of food in your cave? This is why I brought up the bomb shelter idea, it was the only way I saw this as possible.
GREGOR: Wait a second, you think I lived in an actual cave for 21 years?
RICHARD: Ah, yes, Gregor, that’s what your book is about…
GREGOR: No, actually, it isn’t.
RICHARD: Ok, it about more than just living in a cave for 21 years, it is about how you coped with living in a cave for 21 years.
GREGOR: Have you read my book?
RICHARD: Oh, of course I did….
RICHARD: Ok, I’m sorry, I lied. I try to read as much of any book a guest has written as I can. This time I just did not have time. I played in a celebrity Tennis Tournament last night and just didn’t have the time.
GREGOR: I see…
RICHARD: So I read the synopsis my assistant wrote for me.
GREGOR: Well, I don’t think your assistant read the book either if he/she thinks after reading the book I actually lived a cave for 21 years.
RICHARD: I apologize Gregor, on behalf of myself and my entire staff. We are not perfect and can make mistakes.
GREGOR: I understand. I just thought someone would have read the press kit my publisher sent along. It has a three sentence description of the book which makes it clear what the book is about.
RICHARD: Well, again, sorry about that. Guess we all had too much to drink after the celebrity Tennis tournament last night. You see, I won, and I promised to take my staff out drinking if I won. I keep my promises. I promise you now, the chance to tell us, what is the book My 21 Years Living in a Cave by Gregor Philpotter, from Southgate Publishing, about?
GREGOR: Richard, it is about my living with and then conquering my fear of intimacy.
RICHARD: So, there was no actual cave?
GREGOR: The cave was a Metaphor.
RICHARD: Are you sure it wasn’t a simile?
GREGOR: Yes, I am sure.
RICHARD: Ok, well, we are almost out of time, so I wish to thank Gregor Philpotter author of My 21 Years Living in a Cave available now in paperback from Southgate Publishing. Just to make everyone at home crystal clear on the topic, Gregor did not actually live in a cave. Please ignore the links to spelunking and the Stalagmite blogs on our website next to his picture. We apologize for any confusion. Please join us next time.