The is a rush transcript of Episode #78746 of the Richard Mullen Show. Today’s guests were social media force and local watering hole TheMeanCUF, local “artist” SkinnyWillie, and self proclaimed activist/personality ChaosMadhatter.
RICHARD: When preparing for today’s show some of my more provocative colleagues suggested that I should wear my old flack-jacket. [Laughing] I guess they fear the quick fire online tag team joining me in studio. I’ve disarmed them from their social media accounts, so we’ll see if those online prolific trolls can be fill the airwaves with the same wit, satire and vicious attacks their fandom claims they have online. Welcome to TheMeanCUF, SkinnyWillie, and ChaosMadhatter.
THEMEANCUF: As the self appointed spokesperson, I have to notify you that we find the existence of this program, this network, and this entire city as a violation of our human rights.
RICHARD: Ok, right off the bat you come out swinging for the imaginary fences. Will you be the only speaker or will your cohorts chime in?
THEMEANCUF: They are free people, no thanks to you or the colonizing capitalists that run this station.
RICHARD: With that instructive nod of approval towards your friends/comrades, I take it you want them to speak up. My first wife used to do that too…
SKINNYWILLIE: I can speak for myself, Dick. Ha, ha, ha.
CHAOSMADHATTER: As can I, you capitalist dog.
RICHARD: oh good, dialog straight from a bad spy movie. Anywho…My first question is other than a foil for media outlets like one this program appears on, what is the purpose of your social media efforts?
THEMEANCUF: Our goal is to make you listen and make you take notice and make you hear our demands and make you do lots of stuff.
SKINNYWILLIE: My goal is cheap weed, selling copies of my one man guitar trio’s audio recording and destroying the police state. Oh, and fuck capitalism!
CHAOSMADHATTER: The goal is to expand on the dialectic and a revolution to free people from the chains of our oppressors.
RICHARD: This is like a bad retro 1975 SLA movie with Patty Hearst’s abductors. You three were not alive then, but have you been binging on Symbionese Liberation Army propaganda? If you adopted a more “Jive” dialect, you could consider it cosplay, if there was a convention for bad 1970’s movies.
THEMEANCUF: Don’t be patronizing, we can read a Wikipedia page. We are familiar with the SLA and other groups. While I personal don’t agree with their tactics or all of their goals, I can respect the struggle they understood to rob banks.
CHAOSMADHATTER: I feel the SLA is a model to live by. Killing in the name of the international struggle of the workers is fine, assuming you do it with approval of the collective. I mean, no one can act without the approval of the will of the people. I speak for the will of the people and I declare this radio station to be the property of the collective and demand for control be provided to the people immediately. No one moves from this room or there will be repercussions.
RICHARD: Oh, really? Well unless you have a gun, hand grenade, or bomb under that trite Leninesque coat you insisted on wearing into the hot studio… I..ah…am now thinking about this and I am a bit concerned.
SKINNYWILLIE: Ah, Chaos dude, I didn’t sign up for anything beyond some tagging or a broken window.
THEMEANCUF: Oh, fuck, man, we didn’t agree to anything. Shit, Richard this is not something I was ever part of. This was just a way to get attention.
RICHARD: Let’s all calm down. We don’t want things to get out of hand. Oh, hell, that looks like a bomb vest. I really wished this station had installed the metal detectors they were talking about last year. Oh Well, who listens to on air talent.
CHAOSMADHATTER: I speak against the colonizers. I speak for the oppressed. We want control and want to you what you did to us. That starts with having power over you. Then we will colonize your culture and society and destroy all of it. Cosmic justice!
RICHARD: Wait, you want power and you think you only get power by taking power? How do you plan on keeping power? After you blow yourself and us up, how do you keep power?
CHAOSMADHATTER: That is the purity of the anarchy we seek. We achieve anarchy and then it will all work out.
RICHARD: How will it work out?
CHAOSMADDHATTER: How doesn’t matter, it just will.
RICHARD: Your screenname is spot on. Do either of you have anything else to add to maybe calm down?
THEMEANCUF: Jimmy, you are fucking nuts.
RICHARD: That’s not productive and it’s Jimmy? That’s his name? I was expecting something more Gen-Z or just space aged. He’s just a fucking Jimmy with a bomb strapped to his torso and is fucking nuts. Yeah, Erin, I can see you in the both and yes, I think it would be fine if you got the fuck out of here.
THEMEANCUF: I think Willie pissed his pants, oh damn, this is bad, I never meant for this to get out of hand. I run a bar. I like skateboarders. I’m a leftist, sure, but I own a fucking bar. I sell booze to 20 something wanna be punks, we talk the talk. We do some minor tagging and vandalism, but we don’t kill people. Oh, crap, Can I call my mom? I gotta pee now and I don’t want be like Willie.
RICHARD: Well, I think this may be an opportune time to close out the show, I don’t have to pee yet, but if maybe we could get a bucket here in the studio, that might help things along. I would normally, thank my guests at this point, but instead fuck all of them and I hope they rot in Hell if we all die. If my lawyer is listening, please make sure my last ex-wife does not get anything in my house not part of the divorce decree. If I had kids I would say I love them, but I don’t. He man, don’t get jumpy, we can work this out.